It’s National Palliative Care week and this week I am offering you a series of short videos (all are approx 5 mins or less) around Loved One’s Regrets and providing some suggestions and steps you can do to hopefully avoid having these experiences.

They are in no particular order and the next one is “I wish I’d been there when they died”.

This truly, has to be one of THE most common regrets.  There’s a couple of aspects of this that I’d like to explore with you.

Firstly, my belief/experience is that sometimes the Spirit needs physical space around it to enable it to withdraw.  Having a loved one present can anchor people here.  Now that is not a bad thing & please don’t think that I am suggesting that we have to leave our dying alone.  We absolutely do not, but when the final step comes, some, NOT ALL, Spirits need that space.  I believe this is why you hear of some many people dying when a loved has just popped out to the loo or to get a drink or have a smoke etc.  They have been loved and nurtured by the loved one’s present that is also part of their journey.  And then there is that opportunity for the Spirit to withdraw and take that final step in leaving this physical world of ours.

Another part of this is that I believe that loved one’s who are already in Spirit come to accompany the person dying on their end journey.  I believe they are present before the person dies and also as they transition across the veil.  You may hear of people saying that the person dying is hallucinating or talking to people who seemingly aren’t there…I’ll lay money that there are people there in Spirit and the person dying is able to connect with them.

The last aspect, and this can be a bit tough, is to accept that things unfold as they are meant to be.  If your loved one dies when you are not there, you haven’t failed them and you didn’t desert them; particularly if you have been diligently vigiling.  Sometimes it’s just the way things are meant to be, for whatever reason.

Peace & blessings, Sharon